To All My Single Friends

I just want to encourage those of you who aren’t in a relationship right now.  😉


I’ve written about this before (check When the Lord Gives and Takes Away), but a relationship is not a gift God gives you for good behavior, and singleness is not a punishment for not doing or being good enough.  Sometimes when we’re single we hear that there must be something that God wants us to accomplish before getting into a relationship, and while I wholeheartedly believe that seasons of singleness can be fruitful in ways that marriage can’t, I don’t believe God wants us to have a mindset of striving.  So, I want to propose something:


What if God isn’t solely concerned with giving us more time to DO things we’re called to do while single, but to simply BE with Him more?


My friend shared the most beautiful imagery with me once that sums this up perfectly:


“Don’t forget that God is your parent, and just like a parent, He loves your relationship with Him the way it is now.  He knows that when you get married, your relationship with Him will still be good, but it will be different.  He wants to spend time with you, just you and Him, for as long as possible.”


Now, if this doesn’t grip your heart, ask God to help you understand His love in a deeper way because, trust me, it will.  You know how you always hear parents with little children saying, “I’m not going to let them date until they’re (some wildly old age)!”?  We know they’re joking, but sweet parents say this because they treasure their children, and the quality time spent with them in undistracted seasons.  When you get married, just like there will be changes in your relationship with your parents (leave and cleave, am I right?), you’re also going to experience changes in your relationship with God.  You will obviously never leave Him, and He will NEVER leave you, but you are going to have other responsibilities and priorities that will make it harder to keep Him at the center.  Right now, while you are single, you are basically able to receive God’s love selfishly, and pour your love out on Him selfishly!  This is one of the greatest times of your life – to have the opportunity to spend hours upon hours alone with God, like Adam in the garden, simply as His child.  🙂


For those of you who are having a hard time getting perspective while single, I want to encourage you: God really does love you and want what’s best for you, and that really is Him.  So, here are some tips that have helped me to become closer to the Lord and be content where I am – I know they’ll help you as well!


  1. Ask God what He desires of you.
    • Not what He desires you to DO, but what He desires of YOU.  I’m talking about spending unhindered, intentional TIME with God whether it’s:
      • being more surrendered to Him or disciplined in certain areas,
      • following a deep, daily plan of reading His Word,
      • limiting scrolling on social media so you can talk to Him,
      • listening to your Bible App or worship music as you’re going to sleep or going for a drive,
      • committing time to pray through specific things on your heart with Him,
      • reading books/devos that strengthen your faith,
      • doing creative things as worship (like painting, playing an instrument, writing poems or songs),
      • or the most radical of all…actually just sitting alone and being silent in His Presence.
    • You will never regret the time you spend with Him.


  1. Don’t forget your First Love.
    • God is not a hold-over until someone else comes into your life – He’s a steadfast whether you’re single OR in a relationship.  Get to know His love for you while you’re single, and you will ALWAYS be satisfied.  🙂


  1. Ask God for a word for your season.
    • The reason why I love the Lord is not because I’m so spiritual or good – it’s because I hear Him speak to me!  He understands me in ways that no one else can, and He is my FRIEND.  Whether I’m stuck in a certain mindset or don’t understand what is happening in and around me, when I talk to Him about it, He always gives me personal perspective.  I couldn’t outlast any season without hearing His voice personally for myself.  Other people can encourage you, but only God can transform you as He opens up His Word to you and speaks things so personal that you can’t deny it’s Him.  He’s the only One who knows what He’s doing in your life anyway, so why not ask Him about it?  🙂


Last but not least, something the Lord spoke to me last year (also my most popular tweet of all time, nbd) is:


“If you can’t be happy for others, you will never truly be happy.  One day you’ll have reasons to celebrate, but until then celebrate them.”


Your time to celebrate is coming!  In the meantime, celebrate the beautiful things that God is doing in the lives of those around you, and BLESS GOD for blessing you with the gift of time with Him because that truly is the best gift.  😉



Blog Pic: Taken by the incredibly talented Rosie Delacruz at McKinney Square

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